Lately I’ve been sending my stories to the higher and more prestigious “literary” magazines. Seriously, it’s no fun and very unrewarding, for the wait times are long and the responses are 100% form rejection letters.
Here’s the latest:
Dear Po-Ass Writer,
We regret that we are unable to publish “Shittastic Story You Worked So Hard NOT to Put A Sex Scene In”. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to consider it, and we wish you the best of luck in placing it elsewhere.
Too Cool For You, Bitch
It’s paraphrased, but you get the point. I am just not cool.
Sometimes I think about writing a parody Taylor Swift album wherein Taylor Swift is a poor little writer and all the Greek God dudes are replaced with big-wig magazines that will help said writer carve a name for herself and give her all the self-esteem in the world.
I think about this and then I think about all the advice I was given about dating in high school. You know, like, “Don’t go after the hot guy you’ll never ever have a chance with. Go after the dude who actually likes you.”
Over the spring I had quite a bit of luck pursuing the noir/edgy magazines, what with my offbeat tales of feminism and hot hot sex. To be honest, I didn’t think of myself as much of a pulp writer, but it seemed the place where my work best fit, and I picked up a lot of readers from Out of the Gutter, Pulp Modern, ManArchy and Punchnel’s. It’s definitely a part of literary world I can call home, but I don’t really want to just do the one-trick pony thing. I’ve got other stories in me and places I’d love those stories to be published, and getting into THOSE sections of the world is a total pain in the ass.
And honestly, I’m a bit of a recluse, so sometimes I never think it’s worth the effort. One day, when I get that legit acceptance letter and I get paid like, more than twenty bucks for a story, it’ll be totally worth it. I know it’ll be worth it, but this whole waiting game thing is still difficult to deal with. Most of the time I just feel like I’m doing nothing and dragging my feet, and then I get another rejection and it’s like being smacked in the face, and it sucks because I’ve got some great stories that seriously need to be read.
But you know, in time.
At this point, however, hype is building with The New Black, the first anthology to be released by Dark House Press in 2014. A reprint of my story, “Blue Hawaii” will appear within its pages. Recently I got to sift through the advanced reading copy, and holy shit is it fantastic. The forward by Laird Barron is an amazing summary of the neo-noir genre. Richard Thomas’ introduction is a wonderful first impression of the writers within. And the layout and artwork (by the fabulous Luke Spooner of Carrion House) is seriously amazing. It’s the best-looking book I’ve ever had work featured in.
It’s like a 12 on a scale of 10.
Here’s a sexy little peek for ya: